Five Reasons Why Mormon Guys Will Never Ask You Out
[Spring 2018 UPDATE: This post was published in 2013. Since then, it’s become the most popular post in the history of my blog. This is very surprising considering my blog is neither targeted to mormons, nor written by a mormon. But to this day I have no clue what’s made this my top post, ever: Seriously, are you mormon gals really that, um desperate? Kidding. But seriously: Just be yourself, “do your best, and forget the rest.” He’ll come along! Trust me: I know this because I met my own Catholic hunk/future-husband <a year after I wrote this post. Today we’re newlyweds who can’t get enough of each other while we prep for a blessed family and work on our new house.]
I met a guy this Summer! Now, I wish I meant “met” in the sense you want it to mean, but it’s not. Actually he’s a classmate in one of my Psych classes. I’ll call him Alan. Alan is one of those (mormon) guys who is uncharacteristically courteous, kinda flirty, and seemingly super interested in what you’re about.
So I did what 99% of you would do at some point this Summer and went on FB to find out more about him. (This was before I deactivated my acct.>>More on that in an upcoming post!) There, I found that he was a Republican (hallelujah!), had a sister, annnnd, at least as of this past April, a girlfriend. (And pretty serious one at that, too! A guy commented something about how cute they looked and when he was getting his invitation. Wedding invitation, that is–even though they’re young, this is UT, after all.)
Now I know this may seem like a disappointment, but you guys, knowing he’s taken is actually a HUGE relief!! When I discovered this, I was like, “All right! So I CAN safely assume that he’s just being really friendly–rather than flirty–and not have the constant ‘hm will he ask me out or won’t he’ looming in the back of my mind.” Whew!!
But because I have this lovely blog I also realized I needed a way to make my story relevant–and not like a random rant.
So here you go:
The Top Five Reasons Why That Mormon Guy Won’t Ask You Out
FIVE → You’re not Mormon: Need I say more?
FOUR → You have grad school on your short-term to-do list: Mormon guys want to get married ASAP. And, at least according to other mormon guys and gals I’ve talked to, they also want to start making/having kids ASAP. Because their religion tells them the world needs more mormons, or something. So any serious plans of yours that might derail that life goal is a big turn-off.
THREE → You’re a Catholic. Or a Muslim. Or a Buddhist. Or something that’s likely to differ significantly from the way they were raised or from what their family is accustomed to. Put another way, you’re NOT Mormon.
TWO → You don’t have marriage on your short-term to-do list: See #4.
ONE → YOU’RE NOT MORMON.
There you have it! My pretty easy formula for finding out if a Mormon guy will ask you out or not.
To my Mormon blog friends: What do you think? (Of course, most of you are married, so this may be a lil’ meaningless.) And to my non-Mormon dolls: Ever dated a Mormon guy–or wanted to (but couldn’t)?
PS- The above was in no way meant to criticize Mormons. They’ve made the state that adopted us one of the best to live in in the country, they founded pretty much almost all the companies I’ve work at, and I’m nothing if not thankful for their contributions. So no, although I can’t comprehend why they believe in half the stuff they believe in, I’m not bashing them. Also: I have yet to meet a Mormon who isn’t a nice or doesn’t strive to be better.
But to all Mormon guys out there: Don’t hit on someone you know you won’t date b/c of your different faiths, k? Coolio :).
PS2- It’s ALREADY August! Do you realize that Christmas is in a little over four months? And that it’ll be cold before you know it? Me no happy. On the other hand, this Fall also = my second very last semester of my undergraduate career. Hells yeah.
