When Will You Stop Sharing Your Kids Online?
In case I haven’t made it obvious before (here, here, or here—among many others–for instance), or you simply weren’t aware I have much disdain and little respect for parents who view their kids as accessories. This includes those who put their kids in daycare when they don’t need such an option (daycare was created to be a LAST RESORT) and most of those who sell/share/exploit their kids online.
Before I dive in, I’d like you to watch this video (which a note in the beginning stating how disturbing some may find it should give one pause) of how an organization used AI to “age” a little girl’s picture and voice. It emphasizes that to the parents sharing them, those pictures and videos may just be memories, but to the child whose pictures are being spread, they constitute a “digital footprint” that’ll follow them for the rest of their lives. The pictures can end up in questionable sites; the voice from the video can even be used to generate entirely new words and potentially scam the parents in the future.
It’s really scary stuff! Just watch:
I wish more people watched this video; it’s highly underrated.
Regular people exploit their kids
Now, before I go, I must offer a caveat or two, and that is concerning the nuance(s) revolving around posting kids online.
When you have a private profile
There are responsible parents out there who have private profiles, specifically so that the whole world doesn’t have access to or re-post pictures of their children. (Nevermind that people can take screenshots and share those pictures that way, but that’s beside the point.)
Even though it’s safer to keep one’s kids’ content off the web from the get-go (<< that’s a hill I’ll die on), in my opinion, keeping your profile(s) private and, ideally, the amount of followers at a minimum and the quality of followers top-notch (meaning you KNOW they won’t repost your content or send it to anyone else!) is smart. I can’t get mad at it.
When “shooting” kids is part of your legitimate and honest career
In addition, there are adults who make a living off photographing kids for completely innocuous purposes: Clothing and toy catalogs, recipe books, biographical books, family photo sessions, and so on.
All these media need pictures of children for demonstration purposes. There are also those in fields such as education and physical, speech, or occupational therapy whose videos bring much value to the viewer by teaching parents how to do something in particular with their children.
If those adults (and those kids’ parents) are careful to include in their work–or, better focus solely on–taking pictures or videos of kids completely dressed and in normal positions, or even with their faces blurred out or pixelated, then I think that’s appropriate, too, and not a matter to clutch my pearls at.
What upsets me is when parents are told the risks of over-sharing and they STILL defend it with lame excuses, or whose content doesn’t add value to a viewer’s life (like if you’re just showing me your kid at Target, eating their dinner, learning to write, or going off about their day not aware they’re being used to bring in some cash).
How average parents can exploit their kids
This one particular mom (who used to be in law enforcement, I later learned) had a pathetic excuse for continuing to post pictures of her kids online. I saw her comment recently on a post from another mom who was asking what other parents are doing when it comes to pictures of their kids on their social media. She comments:
I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. If you take your kids out in public, strangers can take pictures of them as there’s zero expectation of privacy in public places. So that’s why I personally don’t care about posting or others posting.
She legitimately DOESN’T CARE that she’s harming her kids! How mind-blowing!
So I responded to her comment:
That’s like saying that because you don’t [insert the name of a bad activity here] to your kids, then you don’t care if others do it to them, which is an odd take. Of course strangers can take pictures of one’s kids when out and about, but the key difference there is that their own parents won’t have caused the harm. And if there’s someone with a camera out, it’s normal to steer one’s kids in the opposite direction or downright decline that those pictures be shared (if that option exists).
The dangers of sharing them online are innumerable, and the world isn’t entitled to them. So we *should* care about what’s in our control when it comes to their pictures, and that starts with not sharing most/any.
Then I included the following video to strengthen my point:
You want to know what her response was? You’ll never guess it:
yeah, I understand other peoples opinions. I’m okay sharing them!
Hahaha, is that a brazenly stupid take or what?
How obtuse and careless does one have to be about your kids to be shown the facts and still disregard them while defending your completely harmful take?
So I shot back a “Fair enough!” because I couldn’t believe I had engaged with someone so idiotic.
Fortunately, most moms who answered that original poster’s question were wise enough to know the dangers and offered some great suggestions. I’ll share ideas on how YOU can help your kids stay safe online in a later post.
Reality TV stars also exploit their kids
A while back I watched a video of Adam and Danielle Busby (of Outdaughtered fame)–that I won’t link to because I don’t want to give them the views–where they announced the premiere of the latest season of their TLC show, while explaining why they decided to come back.
No, it wasn’t for the money (although who are they kidding: It totally was).
Instead, they credited GOD as the one who instructed them to continue sharing the private lives of their minor children to millions of strangers–strangers who creepily make up FAN and ROLEPLAY accounts for these kids on social media.
They alleged that God told them that that’s how they’ll be able to “evangelize,” or share Christianity and the life of a wholesome family so others can learn from such role models. I’m paraphrasing, but that was essentially it.
And I was struck by their brazen attempt at hiding their greed behind their faith, like hypocrites. You want to meet a couple that uses the Lord’s name in vain? That’s one of them.
How could God ever command someone to exploit their children.. while also commanding others to keep their children private and guard their safety (online and offline)?
No wonder some atheists mock us Christians for believing in what they may consider such a duplicitous God.
But God isn’t duplicitous: We’ve just sadly gotten really good at tailoring him to fit our beliefs and desires.
If someone wants to sell their kids like the Busbys, the Duggars, and the other countless reality TV and social media wh0res, then they can just claim that God told them to–and others will believe them! How easy!
Because there’s no way God, who’s infinitely good and merciful, could ever command parents to sell and exploit their children instead of protect them. And making a living (i.e., depending on the Likes and comments one gets) off kids online DOES constitute exploiting them.
Influencers exploit their kids, Too
Which brings me to another couple that pops in my mind about once a year, and that is Shawn (Johnson) and Andrew East. She’s an Olympic gymnast from forever ago and he’s a former football player. Now? They’re just.. mere influencers who also sell their kids online.
I think part of the reason I’m randomly reminded of them is not only because I used to be a big fan of hers in the Olympics, but also because I used to think they were two of the coolest Millennial role models with real potential to do some actual good. As former athletes, I thought, they could show people–especially moms–how to live healthfully, what foods to eat, what workouts to do, and so on.
But nope!
Instead, they simply decided that selling (read: exploiting) their kids online is the easiest and most worthwhile path. Pathetic.
Because why work when you can just plop a camera in front of your kids and have THEM work while you collect all their sweet cash?
How can I confidently say they’re selling their kids?
A few years ago, there was this awful podcast by Jeremy and Audrey Roloff (of Little People, Big World fame) where the Easts mentioned that content of their kids does so well, that that’s why they post so much of it. (They said the quiet part out loud and I thank them for it.)
The Roloffs, being shameless social media wh0res themselves who don’t shy away from sharing their kids’ most private moments (incl. their oldest daughter once going to the bathroom outdoors), agreed.
Some people don’t seem to deserve kids, I tell ya.
If you’re still convinced that your kids benefit from having so many strangers knowing so much about them, I’ll leave you with these videos from women with much bigger followings than me. (That includes Brett Cooper’s above and Alex Clark’s below.) I’ve been “beating this dead horse” for years, but I think these recent videos are much more impactful.
Unfortunately, most “YouTube moms” also see their kids as their meal ticket, and it’s utterly shameful.
Even though parenting and staying home with one’s kids is the most fulfilling and important job there is, to these women, being a mom at home raising future generations and potentially enjoying a lucrative hobby or teaching important things to their kids in private… is not enough.
It’s like they think they have nothing better to contribute to the world than their children via videos that no one asked for.
But who sold them that lie?
These children never asked for any of the fame, the recognition, the lack of privacy, or hundreds of thousands to millions of strangers knowing their names, birth details, daily routines, physical address, or what they look like.
So why are you still exploiting your kids? And when will you stop?
And perhaps more importantly: When will your husband see that you’re harming them? (And does your husband even care, or is he a l1mp d1ck who could care less as long as his “wife’s happy” making “friends” online and money off his kids’ lives?)
On my next post, I’ll explore easy, actionable ways that YOU can help keep your kids safe online.
Until then, another warning of the dangers of sharing your kid’s life online:
