I Didn’t Think It’d Affect Me So Much
As I write this, I’m listening to Power by Kanye West, the song Candace Owens said would play at Turning Point USA events right before she and Charlie Kirk would come out on stage. I had the chance to attend one such event but for some reason didn’t bother then. I wish I had.
I never met or saw Charlie (are we on a first-name basis? Why not..) in person but I haven’t stopped thinking about him or his family. What happened on Wednesday in my home state has been on my mind almost every minute, and I can’t seem to process it or superarlo (i.e., overcome it).
I didn’t even follow him closely. My husband and I would watch the occasional clip of him debating a Leftist college student, and we enjoyed and admired how well he handled himself despite the animosity. He always seemed calm and ready to counter every point, and I think we need MORE of that, especially in this environment.
Father Alas is right: He died for what he stood for.
Because he was a Protestant, he had significantly different views about Christianity than us, and I’d cringe a little every time he’d argue for Protestant beliefs, especially with a Catholic. Except that recently, he was “starting to come around” (as many have put it) on the Virgin Mary and her being the perfect role model for (young) women today. This is something I was very moved by and privately, silently commended him for because not many Protestants agree.
In fact, I’ve heard some claim that once Protestants begin to study Christianity’s early Fathers and early Christians’ beliefs and writings about our Holy Mother, a switch flips, they develop a growing interest for Catholicism, and overtime, they become Catholic. The Virgin Mother is “the gateway” to Catholicism, as former Protestant pastor Keith Nester has put it.
But I digress. In short, I admired him for admitting something that I don’t think most Protestants would ever be interested in hearing or researching about because to them, Our Lady’s not that significant.
But just like when it came to her, he wasn’t afraid to boldly proclaim the truth on so many other important things in society, our culture, and the Conservative movement until, ultimately, dying for what he stood for.
Why this has affected me so much
He was a regular man
I’ll get right to the meat and potatoes. I’ve seen so many online discuss how they’ve felt so terrible for his death, but without really knowing why because they’ve never mourned the passing of a public figure.
I can identify with this. I’ve been in a funk this week for a man and a family I never knew. I don’t think I’ve been enraged, though there is some anger and especially wishes for the comeuppance of those who’ve cowardly rejoiced in the news (see here, too).. but there’s just a sadness and a weird void, and I couldn’t pinpoint the reason until hearing YouTuber Decoy Voice addressed it in his most recent video.
I’m paraphrasing, but he essentially called Charlie an every-man: he was one of us and we were just like him. He wasn’t a presidential candidate or a billionaire CEO. Their shootings WERE appalling, but the general populace is so far removed from those circumstances (because we’re neither presidential candidates on a stage or CEOs in charge of managing the healthcare of thousands), that we couldn’t begin to understand or feel their impact.
But Charlie’s brutal assassination hits differently because he was a regular husband and father–much like the millions of husbands and fathers out there providing for their families. Why target a dad who’s just out there “buying groceries”?
It’s heart-wrenching.
But that’s not the only reason why this has hit me so hard, either, especially as a naturalized citizen.
I’m no stranger to targeted, political attacks
While the details aren’t relevant, suffice it to say that my own family or origin was harmed (to say the last) because of holding the “wrong” political beliefs.
I grew up in Colombia, where political assassinations and kidnappings were tragically common in the late 90s and early 2000s. My dad was kidnapped once because of his and my mom’s support of a certain political candidate. Though he was ultimately freed not long afterwards, this political persecution stayed with them, and they applied for asylum while still in Colombia.
Thank God my dad didn’t pay the ultimate price for his beliefs like Charlie did.
I’ll address more of my thoughts on the matter and the implications of all this later.. but for now, this is about Charlie and his movement.
Where were YOU when you heard the news?
I get NYT notifications every day and after receiving the one stating he had been shot, I somehow dismissed it as, “Oh but he’ll be fine. They’re probably making a bigger deal out of it out of an abundance of caution.” Then we left for our play date.
It wasn’t until later that day that I was homeschooling our oldest when I received another notification stating that he had passed away. I don’t keep my phone near me while homeschooling but somehow I thought to check my notifications right then, I guess, before sitting down.
I called my husband to tell him and we were both in shock. Our son was painting an apple tree with watercolors as we were chatting, blissfully unaware (as kids should be) of the strange sensations I was grappling with. Our “class” didn’t last very long that day, partly because I couldn’t focus a whole lot. His apple tree turned out awesome, though.
The past couple of days have been a blur news-wise. Thank God for my family who helps me my TRUE focus in check because I’m heartbroken for Erika and their kids. Here she is bravely talking about her husband, the future of their organization, and their kids. The past where I lost it is when she tells viewers about the time her daughter asked where Daddy was. Watch for yourself and try not to at least to tear up:
I feel compelled to share that if you want to find out more about Turning Point USA, incl. how to join a chapter and donate to the organization–and to Erika’s family if you feel inclined–go to TPUSA . com.
I can sense a shift and I’m looking forward to seeing how us Conservatives will embrace it.
I pray Charlie’s in Heaven watching out (and praying) for his family and his movement, that his family finds solace in due time, and that we stay strong, wise, and brave.
