Things I Don’t Care About Anymore
Or reasons why I, as a Millennial Hispanic immigrant, stay-at-home mom, and homeschooler, am now “weird” and choose not to identify with most.
As time’s gone on, and especially since overcoming a significant back injury, becoming a mom, losing a baby, and then having another baby, I’ve realized that I’m much more content with fewer things on my mind.
Sometimes I get the impression that the opposite is true for many—most?—people.
For instance, I see YouTubers reacting to things (from a speech to TikToks about them, to even reading mean tweets about them) and I immediately think, “You had the time to find something to watch, watch it, set up your camera to record your reaction, edit it, etc.?”
Of course, some of those YouTubers have employees who coordinate almost everything for them, or happen to be the mere face of a channel while a full-blown staff does everything else.
But my example still stands: Think of political commentators. I couldn’t imagine being attuned enough to every word that politicians and leaders say that you can later recall weeks or years later in your own essays, articles, and video reactions.
I’m just not interested in what floats others’ boats, I guess.
And I think that’s a symptom of getting older? I’m only in my 30s so I laugh thinking what I’ll be like in a few decades :).
It’s taken me years to not care one bit about social media. I got rid of my then-11-year-old Facebook account years ago and replaced it with one that I only use for a few local groups and that I check a few times a month. My husband doesn’t have any social media. Twitter and Instagram became things of my past as well. I never had TikTok and don’t get others’ fascination with it. And I have a YouTube channel I don’t post to often.
I much prefer living simply, not for others to see, but so my family can thrive.
If I’m too concerned with showing you my life, monetizing our family, and seeing who-said-what, I won’t take very good care of those around me.
This St. Francis de Sales quote, found in a recent Still Today post, illustrates what I’m trying to get at (emphasis my own):
“Sports, balls, festivities, display, the drama, in themselves are not necessarily evil things, but rather indifferent, and capable of being used or abused. Nevertheless, there is always danger in these things, and to care for them is much more dangerous. Therefore I should say that although it is lawful to amuse yourself, to dance, dress, hear good plays, and join in society, yet to be attached to such things is contrary to devotion and extremely hurtful and dangerous. The evil lies not in doing the thing, but in caring for it.” (Introduction to the Devout Life)
So without further ado, here’s my ever-growing list of things I don’t care for: (Please comment with your own!)
Things I don’t care much for—if at all
1, 2, 3. How my blog, my Substack, or my YouTube channel perform: Because the moment I start caring and pouring over the stats to see what performed better and whether to do more of that, the more that’ll make my experience seem like a job, even though my most important “jobs” currently are wife and mother.
I’m fortunate that I get to write what I want, when I want, because I enjoy it, and not because it’s expected of a few hundred/thousand strangers who pay me to be useful or entertaining to them.
Plus, with the ever-growing number of capabilities of AI and of what others can do online, I see little to no incentive to share a lot.. not my videos (I deleted my one video on YouTube), my voice (I even deleted my podcasts!), and especially not our kids.
I’m fine with living like we were, in my husband’s words, back in the 90s.
Our view of things has become so warped…. The amount of people that are paying attention to a thing has never been a good measuring rod for what’s important, or for… what ought to be important to you. This has been the case since long before social media. Human beings tend to congregate around things that are dramatic, even though they might not be important….
When you get into the mindset that what’s important is determined by how many people are paying attention, it can lead to envy and a sense of fame, as something that we’re entitled to [because we’re supposedly] something really valuable.
”That person isn’t doing anything that’s contributing to society and they’re getting millions of views, and here I am writing about love, hope, or joy, and I only get ten people to look at my tweets!“
Do you really want to orient your life [and your emotions] around what ten million people are focusing on? … What’s popular isn’t a measure of what’s important.
Are you really interested in [something] if it’s boring to everybody else, or if it’s interesting to a million other people?
[Another person’s fame doesn’t detract from] your life’s meaning. They may not be satisfied with their level of fame or with the things they must do to keep their level of fame.—The Minimalists Podcast, Ep. 451 (1:15:23) (Emphasis my own)
4. Along those lines, strangers’ opinions of me: This is another reason why how my content does isn’t a priority. Choosing to get offended over mere strangers’ thoughts of me is silly, and I don’t have time for that. I’d much rather prioritize my loved ones’ opinions of me because they’re the ones who get to be with me, so I might as well have them enjoy it. If I lose a dear friend, I’ll be more hurt than if I lose X number of followers.
5, 6, 7. Celebrities, reality “stars,” and influencers: Like if one passes away, I’ll pray for their soul because I’m not a monster, but I’m past the point where I’d want to watch some show or movie because so-and-so is in it. Gossip sites don’t interest me, either, anymore because I’m not voyeuristic. (Long before getting married I was a habitual checker of a popular The Bachelor spoiler site.)
And the reason why I don’t get involved or have interest in reality show cast members and influencers is because many are happy to exploit their kids for money while having to compensate for their empty lives by over-sharing because that’s all they think they can contribute.
I especially think of a particular former Olympian and now mom of three, who decided to feature her kids more and more in her social media after realizing those posts perform better. (<< Her words!)
In a world where she could be helping moms with their postpartum workouts and diets, young girls with their training, and otherwise influencing others to BE better, she decided to instead stoop down to the despicable world of using kids for engagement and money. Because there aren’t enough bad things that can happen to kids online nowadays, I guess. Geez.
Be better, Shawn, and others who think that selling your kids is worthwhile.
8. Minimalism “standards” when it comes to kids’ toys: “Kids do best when they have few(er) things to play with” is a common adage you hear in the minimalism world, but I enjoy being able to provide plenty of variety to ours, which is why I value toy rotation.
I believe in not having a lot of things on display for kids at any one time because that can be overwhelming for them (and us), while at the same time having like our own toy store/library in my office with things to choose and rotate from.
Later when they’re past the toy age, I’ll consider donating most of them (something I’ve started already as our youngest outgrows stuff) while keeping a few for their kids, but for now? There’s no harm in having lots of resources available so I don’t have to go out and search for more when I need something.
9. Social media accounts with parenting or health advice: As a forever-believer in content being king and lover of websites, I’ll posit that social media is NOT the right place for this kind of information because it doesn’t lend itself to the type of research that it merits.
A picture on Instagram isn’t worth 1000 words, and one can’t learn much from pithy captions meant more to scare and be shared than to teach.
Plus, Meta (who owns Facebook and Instagram) colludes with the government to block and censor whatever doesn’t suit them, so trusting either one isn’t very smart.
Social media largely doesn’t allow the truth to spread and is happy to block those with something worthwhile to say. Therefore to think that the algorithm has your best interests at heart is foolish: Outsmart it by quitting while you’re ahead.
Fear-mongering is so common in social media, that it’s become exhausting and sometimes disheartening to check it just to hopefully come across something lighthearted and inspiring. (Hence why I’m done with it.)
And the common denominator of these seemingly well-meaning accounts is that they’re always trying to sell you something:
- Fluoride is bad! Buy my fluoride-free toothpaste!
- Most chips are bad! Use my code for a few cents off these expensive chips!
- Most food is bad! Sign up for my course on eating better! (« I especially hate courses.)
I’m all for people hustling, but I don’t have to follow them. Because I don’t access social media much now, I thank God for the Skip button on podcasts because hosts are notorious for advertising pricier-than-average alternatives to the equally good products they’re meant to replace.
Not to mention one’s social media profile isn’t all that searchable or user-friendly, so if I want to know what you said about magnesium, for example, I don’t have a menu listing all your articles about it. Instead, I’d have to Google it and hope I see all your posts about it instead of the silly dancing Reel you made years ago that’ll make me lose respect for what you want to accomplish.
Long-form content, on the other hand, lets me look into things more in-depth. It’s not for shock value. If a social media account claims something is bad, I’ll research it elsewhere instead of going down a bunch of subsequent rabbit holes that the algorithm chooses for me.
10. The latest technology: We’re not the first to get things, always happy to be until they’ve been in the market for a while before buying them for ourselves. I very much prefer it this way: Keeping up with the newest shiny thing sounds exhausting and expensive. Better to live like simpletons and keep something for several years or until it “dies” before upgrading. We’re debt-free, too, which helps shift your priorities from “gotta have it now!” to “Let’s do this instead.”
11. Social media: This goes with #9, but it encompasses ALL of social media. I don’t post on Instagram or Twitter (but don’t want to delete my accounts because I want to keep my handles), my new friendless Facebook is for local groups only, I don’t look through others’ feeds, share my posts, or look for advice on social media, and I despise the over-sharing of children. Social media can also significantly warp one’s perception of someone.
Naturally, I have no use for it. I mush prefer informative and entertaining videos, longer articles, and blog posts that leave room for nuance.
12. Politics: I know what I know, but I’m open to learning more. Nevertheless, when I make goodwill efforts to learn more, I come across seemingly tone-deaf or ignorant pieces that make me question my desire to understand the other side better. We do subscribe to The Free Press (which was founded by Liberals and it’s so good) and Louder with Crowder, and watch Liberal Tim Pool’s Timcast’s morning livestreams daily. I don’t really care to get involved in politics but I do value being informed, especially THIS Election season.
But America is missing something much more profound than civility, or even honesty in its politics.… [What] matters more than one man’s attempt on the life of a candidate is the context: an America in which people seem broadly resolved to hate their neighbors. Until that changes, violence will find its inevitable place.
That’s my list (so far) of things that I’m not interested anymore as a Millennial Hispanic immigrant, stay-at-home mom, and homeschooler.
What are some things that others seem to fawn over but that don’t strike YOUR fancy? Let me know in the comments!
