How you can help keep your kids stay safe online

It appears that most parents are wise enough to know the dangers of sharing their kids online and they take precautions to help keep them safe.

I’ve told the story of a mom who was genuinely wondering what to do as she found herself both wanting to share pictures of her son yet ambivalent about all the pictures her own mom (or mother-in-law) was posting online and sending to strangers.

Here’s what I told her:

Long bit of tough love but here we go >>

My husband doesn’t have social media and I don’t post anything about our kids. We have a Google Photos folder w/pictures of them that only my parents can access. Relatives and close friends get sent pictures occasionally, and they don’t get re-shared.

You were sold the lie that technology’s good and you ought to use it to share your kids with the world because that’s your duty as the proud parents you are.

So why are you exposing your kids for the sake of her ego? And if you’re iffy, why can she still access those pictures knowing what you know?

“it will be hard when we have super cute photos we wish everyone could see!” >> This is your ego talking. Why does it matter that others see him? Your child’s privacy and safety are more valuable than a few worthless Likes, come on, now.

“Has anyone had to have a conversation with grandparents, relatives, etc about sharing photos of your child?” No need to. None have ever posted any kids’ pictures.

Take down your pictures and stop sending them to Grandma; she doesn’t deserve them.

– The video I included is of an ad/PSA begging parents to not share their kids’ lives. [You can find the video on my previous post.]

– The screenshot [see above] is of our reasoning to stop posting our (by then) singleton’s pictures. I only post on IG a couple times/year so by then I only had to delete maybe a handful of pictures.

What I told that mom to help her recognize the dangers of posting her child online and why she shouldn’t care about her mother-in-law’s feelings when it comes to potentially forbidding HER from sharing pictures of him.

When our oldest was born in 2020, I, too, was like that mom–so proud and ecstatic that I felt like shouting from the rooftops how much we loved that baby, so I’d share a few pictures on my private Instagram.

But as the months progressed, I became increasingly uneasy about posting his face and a few of the things that he was up to. So I began posting less and less. I never really posted more than a handful of times a year anyways, so our decision to once and for all cut all my posts about him (see our reasoning in the screenshot above) was very easy.

Hopefully by now you’ know full well why more people should be against sharing kids online, the dangers it can involve, how some people manage to do it wisely, and why some celebrities and regular influencers can’t stop themselves from violating their kids’ privacy.

Having said all that, I’d like to now outline at least* nine ways in which you can help keep your children’s image safe online:

1. Recognize that nothing is private, especially if anyone can take screenshots.

2. Decide whether you’d be OK with someone manipulating your pictures and videos using AI, and then decide whether you’d be fine with someone doing the same thing to pictures, videos, and audio clips of YOUR CHILDREN.

3. Hide their faces or show just the back of their heads. If you must show their faces, keep their clothing modest and try to not show their whole bodies top to bottom.

4. Keep a Google Photos or iCloud album with their pictures and give access only to VERY few people who you’re 100% sure won’t share them with people you don’t want them shared.

5. Individually send your friends and relatives those pictures: Although tedious, if you send a different picture to a different person, you can more easily find out who “leaked” a certain photo.

6. Refuse to give your kid’s picture to anyone you don’t trust for whatever reason.

7. Formally refuse to have your child photographed at events (either with a waiver or by telling the person in charge) or point your child(ren) in the opposite direction of that photographer. If your child’s still photographed, ask that his/her name not be published.

8. Don’t allow others to tag you(r child) on Facebook.

9. ==> SIMPLY DON’T POST THEM ONLINE : ) <==

*I wrote “at least nine ways…” above because I’d like to, hopefully with your help, turn that list into a running/living list of ways to keep kids safe online.

If you know of any other ways to help parents keep their kids off the web, please share them below!

I’d like to open a conversation that only benefits those of us who value giving our kids a private upbringing–just like the kind we (OK, most of us) had growing up.

Have a lovely and safe new year, everyone.