On The MET "Gala." (And Why I Don’t Get It)

According to two competing morning news shows, the MET Gala is both the Oscars and the Superbowl of fashion. (I’m not kidding–I actually heard both those things yesterday.)

But I still don’t get it: Because 90% of the stars who showed up looked atrocious. I mean, I got that the theme was Punk, and that the whole shindig was more costumey than real. But still: That shouldn’t be an excuse to look frugly on purpose!
Now this wouldn’t be a “Why I Don’t Work In A Fashion Magazine” post if I didn’t proceed on to making my own common-sense comments about the “fashion” at the “gala.” Naturally, I’ll only cover some of the looks–not ALL–for your sake!) Also, I made these comments hypothetical on behalf of the wearers’ subconscious.

PS– Even Kathy Lee and Hoda (of all people) referred to the “gala” as a “freak show”!! So we kow we’re onto something good…

Beyoncé: “I hope the belt is enough of a punk accent because I hate punk! I’m a DIVA. Whose dress seems to be on fire. Just like my hair. Perfecto. I learned that in Cuba, yo!”

via Hollywood Life
(Don’t click on it, though, b/c it won’t take you anywhere!)

K-Stew: “I wanted to channel my inner matador tonight, k? Rob thought it’d be hot. And I better make him happy if I want him to stay this time.”

via Hollywood Life
Carey Muligan: “Am I the only celeb tonight who managed to look classy? Guess I missed the memo.”

via Perez Hilton

J-Law: “Wish they had had the time to alter my mom’s dress! Dang it. I look so weird in it. Also, I heard someone somewhere had died recently. So I’m wearing this super punk headpiece while I mourn them AND laugh at that lady’s mohawk. Gosh what was she thinking?”

via HuffPo Canada
Also via HuffPo Canada



^^ Sarah Jessica Parker ^^: “Career-wise I’ve been beyond irrelevant for the past few years, so this headpiece better get me press for DAYS! See, that Hunger Games chick gets it!”

Katy Perry: o_O “Araaaaaaabiiiin [or rather Egyptiiiiiian] niiiiiiiiights!!!!”

via HuffPo Canada

Kim K: “Best way to honor my Eastern European roots? Wear my grandma’s tablecloth, obviously. Don’t I look bigger in this? Lovely, I know. Kanye looks PO’d though. Hm what else is new?”

Also via HuffPo Canada

Anne Hathaway: “Spiderwebs!”

(She needs a bra–or some type of coverup)
via HuffPo Canada

Mary Kate Olsen: “Listen, I know the theme was punk but I am, have always been, and forever will be a friggin’ HIPPIE, ‘aight?”

via HuffPo Canada

Kirsten Dunst: “The designer I hired off Project Runway killed this beautiful bird but not even that was enough; he clearly ran out of feathers! He’s fired.”

via HuffPo Canada

Lindsey Vonn: “Oh it’s not my wedding yet? Ha oh well. I love Tiger! Rowr that’s such a sexy name.”

via HuffPo Canada

Madonna: “This is MY night. None of these punks know what Punk even is. Look at me; I was BORN Punk, yo! Ugh those fools.”

via HuffPo Canada

OK there’s a LOT more fashion misses that I cared to document. (I have a life, my dears!!) So if interested, look’em up and tell me what you think! (HuffPo Canada’s comments about each piece are pretty great..) >> I won’t blame you if you don’t, though, because, let’s face it: This was just chaos.

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