More Random Confessions
You know how I haven’t been blogging regularly in seemingly forever? There’s a good reason: I haven’t been in the mood :)!
You guys, when you’re just living life and enjoying your days, sometimes sitting down to document them for OTHERS to see is exhausting. And I have plenty to document and be ecstatic about, don’t get me wrong, but UGH showing it off doesn’t seem genuine so I kind of struggle to make it so.
(But if you DO happen to be interested in my goings-on/going-on[s]?, then I invite you to follow me on Instagram, where I do write bits here and there about my life as a fiancée/bride/future wife, daughter, SLC resident, etc. I post a few/couple times a week, which is definitely more regular than on my blog. See ya there!)
But just because I’m not blogging nonstop doesn’t mean I don’t have thoughts-that-warrant-a-blog-post going on in my head almost always! So here’s one such post: (My apologies in advance for the randomnicity of it all.)
On Toddlers at Child Cares
(Inspired by a blogger who became a mom and justified her leaving her daughter at a child care by stating that she needed to be taught patience. Yes, REALLY!)
Toddlers don’t need to be taught patience by being left at daycare because of your job. They need a parent to raise them, not a stranger who’s simultaneously “caring” for a handful of other babies. Getting ready to have a baby encompasses MUCH MORE than financial readiness. Don’t have time to be with them all day long (at least on most days)? Don’t have them. What’s the point
On “Feminism”
(Make sure you also read this post for more on why I don’t need feminism.)
Feminism ruined it for women. Like, it was fine at first but then it began to demean men and discredit femininity’s power. That’s why I’ve proudly never been a “feminist.” Feminism WAS good, but now it’s an excuse to degrade all that men do for us women and all that WE can do as women for men. No, thanks!
On Childhood
I miss Disney World so bad. A friend’s pictures of her recent vacation at Harry Potter World made me want to go, like yesterday. I haven’t been back in almost 20 years!! CRAZY, huh?! But I’ve heard that Disney Parks are becoming more like Marvel/DC theme parks, which I’m not all that interested in, tbh. Did you hear that Disneyland got rid of its Twilight Tower of Terror? That’s my FAVORITE ride at Disney World! Better go back before it gets too comic-bookish.
(Side note: I preordered Harry Potter & The Cursed Child and it arrived YESTERDAY!!!)
On Wedding Planning
I don’t think I’ve explicitly told you guys and gals about it BUT our original wedding date was Sep 20, 2017, the third anniversary of our first date <3. That’s right, when we got engaged in November 2015 we came up with Sep 2017 not thinking it was as far away as it seemed to others.
But then March 2016 came by and we were both like, “Let’s move the date and get married sooner!” We were getting kinda sick of having to say Goodbye to e/o after our dates and of having to wait days to see one another on our next date (we don’t live together.. + more on why I wouldn’t live with anyone before marriage).
So we moved the date to March 2017, his third anniversary of having moved to Utah. (We met that following September.) Then we started to get more serious about house hunting (**back story**: We started the process in the Summer/Fall of 2015–we knew we were in it for the long haul!). And then we realized that if we wanted to save enough for a down payment and a healthy financial foundation, we should plan on a September 2017 Wedding, like we had originally set.
So that’s where we currently are: Chilling and enjoying life as fiancé and fiancée while we discuss and make plans for our future. We’re planning a life together.
Having said that, I’m enjoying my break from wedding planning. Getting to spend a few more weeks not worrying about weddings has been very nice, though if you know me, you know that I at least take care of important things first asap so I don’t have to worry about them later, which is why our key elements (Venues, Food, Photographer, and Videographer) are already booked!
On the Blogging Community
I found out a blogger I hadn’t followed in months is (Surprise!) now pregnant. My first thought was, “Wait, he’s still not your husband/fiancé? Well, this is another way to get him for 18 years.” They may be progressives like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, but I still view the whole “we don’t need to be married and I don’t need his commitment” thing weird. Unless you’re Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell.
I was oddly so taken aback, for some reason. Kinda like when you find out that person you went to school with and you haven’t kept in touch with for years has X children.
On that note, Liberals love to refer to unborn babies (of just a few months in the womb) as anything BUT “unborn babies.” So imagine my surprise when both the Today Show’s Facebook page and the above blogger refer to them as actual unborn BABIES, which is what they are. Hopefully times are a-changin’?
On (Physical) Therapy
I think I pray, meditate, and use the Whisper app at the same rate. All are quite therapeutic, though for different reasons. Speaking of therapy, my physical therapist introduced me to the reformer, and I became a Pilates fan! I look forward to doing it more often.
And speaking of PT, I finally learned to breathe deeply correctly. >> Scratch that: I finally learned how seriously important it is that I begin breathing properly. I learned the technique (of breathing through your diaphragm/expanding your tummy as you inhale) in HIGH SCHOOL Choir. But it wasn’t til my recent neck problems and resulting posture issues (which I foresee will end THIS year!) that I started to pay more attention to and deal better with this.
On Chris, My Love
Chris is hands-down THE best man out there for me, and each passing day not only shows me why we’re fortunate to have each other, but also has me falling more for him more and more.
I do believe in soul mates. We’re each other’s and I can’t wait to say I DO to forever and ever with him.
On Books
I have so.many.GOOD.books. on my nightstand waiting to be read!
And these exclude those on my Goodreads list AND my Pinterest board (PLUS The Magnolia Story, which I’ve preordered, and Harry Potter & The Cursed Child, which I had preordered and arrived yesterday! [Expiring 8/3 in the PM on my Snapchat MsAnniePaul: Me opening the box with this infamous book]).
https://www.instagram.com/p/BIoNXhUAmed/
On Reminiscing
Though I may not sit down and document/blog about what’s been going on for OTHERS to see, I do do that elsewhere for my future self and family to experience!
I finally bought a box to store all of our relationship’s mementos and I may have teared up a bit while looking at some of them when I was organizing it, like the entrance ticket to the museum we went to on our first date!
I’ve also been keeping our Mass programs, receipts, tickets, etc., and have been writing why they’re important on the back. For instance, on the back of a ticket for a movie we saw on our fifth date, I wrote that I was wearing a teal dress he loves to see me in and that at the restaurant where we had dinner beforehand he told me that I didn’t have any competition (aww!). And then on the back of a Boondocks ticket I recalled that he met my parents for the first time later that day at dinner.
I’ve also been toying around with the idea of starting another blog/changing the name of this one after we’re married. I already know Chris wouldn’t care one way or another, though he does give me good post ideas and suggest what I can say about such-and-such place we checked out.
However, he’s a very private person who doesn’t even use social media so it’s a balance between maintaining his privacy (and that of our future kids’ though that’ll be easy because I won’t be a “mommy blogger”!) but still keeping our families in the loop. (What do you think about blogs that include the more-private family members?)
Such great memories and sweet moments in the making!
Let’s come back full circle: On Parenthood
“It’s our job to see the ditch before she sees it.” – Todd Chrisley
Many parents forget that they’re supposed to protect their children, and think that letting them fall down hard is the only way kids can learn. I’ve never had to fall down to learn anything, though (my parents have made sure of it!), and I think it’s preposterous to wish that on your kid.
See the ditch before your kid sees it. Depending on how they’re raised, they’ll take your word for it and not ever need to even approach it. Because they trust you and know that you know better.
I thank God every day for parents that keep directing me well and never let me fall. (Here’s my take on overprotective parents + my take on girls’ nights and other things that take time away from family.)
– – –
All right, lovelies! That’s some more of my confessions. (See the original list here and another post with more here.)
Have anything YOU’d like to confess? Add it below!
So many thoughts!!!
Sometimes it’s not possible for people to be with their kids 24/7, I understand that more than anyone else. But every day I work my hardest to not only make the most of the time that I do have with Bensen, but also to work toward that day when I can stay at home with him. And I’ve made it a point to work 10 hour days so that we can have Friday, Saturday and Sunday together and on those days and those nights when I do get to be with him, I enjoy that time rather than pawning him off on someone else every night/day so I can “have a break” like I see a lot of working parents do. But like you said, at home with parents is where children should be learning life skills, we shouldn’t rely on the school or their daycare to teach them everything. Home is the best place for them to learn! I’m grateful for family who can give Bensen the greatest care and attention and teach him when I’m not able to be with him every single day.
My nightstand also has a pile of books waiting to be read. But I haven’t gotten to them yet….
I also like your thoughts on the parenthood thing. Have you ever read Love & Logic? It’s all about natural consequences, and sometimes kids do have to fall hard in order to learn things, but like you said, you should be directing them so that hopefully, they’ll trust you enough not to have to make the mistakes that cost them big in order to learn life lessons. Bensen got really good at stairs after months of wanting to go down them head first, and I felt comfortable letting him roam the house. One Saturday he decided to go head first I guess, took a tumble and skinned his little nose. He was scared but not badly hurt, and I felt bad that I’d let him out of my sight (although I know that I can’t be overprotective and watching him constantly, nor do I want to), but sometimes it takes that tumble to learn, if you’re set on doing things the way you think they should be done and ignoring the advice of others (parents). I’ve noticed that ever since that day, he turns around WAY before he reaches the edge of the stair because he knows that the falling down part is something he’d like to avoid. He had to learn that through experience, but the hope is that those little “falls” in his childhood will build that trust he has in what Joe and I suggest so that later on in life, he can avoid the bigger “falls”.
O_0 so many GOOD thoughts! Ready, set, here I go: (I almost feel like writing an entire post on just the first one alone!)
It sounds like you’re already doing what’s right for your family and are aware of what you need to do, so for that, KUDOS :)! You’re right, HOME is the optimal place, and “pawning” kids off to substitutes doesn’t lead to good outcomes later on.
I’ve heard of the importance of 24/7 stay-at-home care, but believe me: I’d still choose to work, albeit fewer hours, and definitely mostly from home. (Fortunately, my company, should I stay there for several years, has an option that may work. And companies all over are becoming more understanding of the work-from-home mentality.)
We understand that it is key that a mom is the most involved with the kids, which is why my parents would help, and even why Chris would stay home one/two days a week. We also believe it’s valuable that I work, not just so that I retain some of what I make for gifts for him or occasional treats for me (–my reason), but also so that we can grow our Savings funds from that (–his reason).
I haven’t read Love & Logic BUT it seems like I should? (Even though that’d add yet another book to my growing list.. Sheesh, thanks, Amberly!) I don’t disagree, though it’s certainly not the way I was raised and it’s not how I’d raise our kids, either. Chris also falls under the “gotta let them fall sometimes” camp, and I have trouble understanding it because to me it sounds like people who fell early on don’t know how nice we who didn’t had it. My parents watched my every move growing up (not to be strict jerks but precisely so that I didn’t fall) and you know what? I can count on perhaps two fingers the number of times I took a figurative tumble and had to learn from it. Most of my life I’ve lived a safe, happy life and I’m not at all interested in testing my boundaries or experimenting. I consider myself fortunate that they saw ditches way before I did, and helped me avoid them.
(I wasn’t coming at anyone like you whose baby accidentally falls. That’s minor! I was mostly addressing parents who are fine with letting their kids do worse things for the sake of their childhood/adolescence. Like those who think, “I guess if he wants to drink early, he’ll figure out when he’s drunk that it’s not right.” Or, “If he wants to have sex early/before marriage, let him.” “If he doesn’t want to study, let him.” All those things have bad consequences and to be OK with your kid failing “so he learns from his mistakes” is definitely NOT OK with me. What SHOULD happen is parents helping to prevent kids from living recklessly so they never even want to do what’s wrong. Which brings me back to how you well you put it in the end: You aim to get Bensen (& Co.) to trust what you “suggest so that later on in life, he can avoid the bigger ‘falls’.”)
As always, THANK you for stopping by and for your comment!
Dearest Annie please no houses on a cliff.
No worries, sweet Sharon :)! Your lovely son has insisted on the same thing and I agree!